


More Than Kin and Less Than Kind

by The_Dragon_Em



Category: Valdemar Series - Mercedes Lackey
Genre: Alternate Universe, Co-Parenting, Dark Past, F/M, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-08-19 08:25:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16530956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Dragon_Em/pseuds/The_Dragon_Em
Summary: What if Talia was sixteen when Rolan came for her, instead of thirteen? How different would her life have been?





	1. The White Horse

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [And By Moonlight, Rise](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7951408) by [Terahlyanwe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Terahlyanwe/pseuds/Terahlyanwe). 



Talia's hands were still for once, as odd as it was. She had been set by the Firstwife to watch the littlest littles. It wasn't a bad job, especially for someone who had so recently been allowed out of bed after giving birth to her second daughter, Mila. The group she'd ushered outside to play included Talia's elder daughter as well, two-year-old Lysa, and with Mila in her sling on her chest, the sixteen-year-old Underwife was as content as she ever was.

There were rumors the last few days of a ghost or a demon circling the Hold and so Talia had been instructed to keep a special eye out; as such she had a bow with her, although it would be a little awkward to shoot around Mila. Not that she thought she'd have to; she wasn't quite sure that she believed in ghosts and demons, despite the fact that she was supposed to. She hadn't read a book since being married off to be an Underwife at Larsholding, but she still believed more in Heralds and Companions than she did the God and Goddess that ruled over Holderfolk life.

She'd been woolgathering a little when something caught her eye coming up to the yard where she waited with the littles, and she did a doubletake. There were two white horses, one of which was ridden by a man in white. Could they be - except if those were Companions, why were there two of them and only one Herald? She shifted to hold Mila closer and surveyed the other littles like a hawk. They were coming closer, and Lysa ran giggling up to Talia to wrap herself around her mother's leg.

The pair stopped before her, the possible Herald hanging back from the lone Companion -  _If that's even what they are_. If he was a Herald, she noted that he was a somewhat disappointing one: plain-faced nearly to the point of ugliness, although Talia hardly thought she could ever think of him as ugly. There was something - she shook it off, deciding that whatever strange thing she was feeling it was more due to the fact he was a Herald than anything else.

Then her eyes were caught in the scintillating sapphire of the riderless Companion's eye, and his voice melted into her mind. : _You - at last. I Choose you, out of all the world. You are the sister of my heart, and you will never be alone again._ : There was a pause. : _This is not how things are usually done. You need to come away with us, to Haven. Dirk will explain things once there is time._ :

Talia looked behind her and saw others of the Hold coming out to see what was happening. The littles wouldn't be left alone -

Desperate to make her escape while there was still time, desperate enough to do so without asking questions, the girl snatched up Lysa and shoved her in the saddle in front of the surprised Herald, then pulled herself into Rolan's saddle with Mila still in her sling. "Go, go,  _we have to go!_ " she gasped out desperately, attempting to kick the Companion into motion. He gave an affronted whinny but leapt away from Larsholding at a gut-wrenching pace. The other Companion fell in behind them, the Herald holding Lysa in place with an arm around her little waist.


	2. The Waystation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talia is given a chance to sit down and talk to Dirk about what's going on.

There was a peculiar jumping sensation that periodically interrupted the otherwise perfectly smooth gait of the Companions. All Talia really knew at this point was that she'd been given a chance to escape Hold life with her daughters and whatever the price was for her rescue she'd be willing to pay it. She was suspicious of the fact that a man had come to get her, but nothing in the little that she knew about Heralds implied the slightest chance that she was in danger with him.

He was still a man, even if he was blessedly homely and doing a good job of keeping her little calm and happy as they fled Larsholding at a breakneck pace.

As far as Talia could judge it had only been a few hours when the Companions slowed and started picking their way through the countryside, obviously certain of where they were going. She clung tighter to Mila, wishing she had some idea what this evening was going to entail. Then she recognized something right out of some of her favorite stories -  _a Herald's Waystation_. Her breath caught in her throat; maybe this  _was_ real. She still didn't understand, but maybe she was getting more than just an escape, and escape was wonderous enough!

The Companions stopped, and the Herald - the Companion had called him Dirk? - easily swung out of his saddle and placed Lysa on the ground. Then he went to help Talia down. She hesitated, then let him. Between how tired she was from hours Companion-back when she was out of practice riding and the fact she had Mila in her sling on her chest, she could use it.

For a second they stood there, too close for proper comfort and their eyes locked. Up close she couldn't help but reaffirm her assessment that he was terribly homely, which made him somewhat less threatening, and that she felt a strange pull to  _trust_ him. That was crazy; there was no reason to! Then he broke the spell by looking down, a shockingly kind and strangely beautiful smile bursting onto his face. "So there  _are_ two of them, I wasn't sure." He bent down with a casualness that only came with practice, lifting Lysa onto his hip. "Are these your sisters?"

"They're my daughters," Talia said firmly, her tone leaving no room for question.

"Daughters - but you can't be a day over eighteen!" Certainly, the Holderfolk were very much a border culture, and girls were frequently wed and bred young on the borders, but this seemed excessive.

"I'm sixteen," she corrected. Talia wanted to take a step back, but only managed half of one before running into the broad side of the Companion behind her.

The Herald tactfully didn't comment further on her age. "Well, I'm Herald Dirk, and this here is Ahrodie." He indicated his Companion, standing casually behind him. "I don't know if he introduced himself to you, but that's Rolan behind you. Why don't you go into the Waystation and tend to your girls, and I'll get the Companions settled. Then we can manage something for dinner, and Ahrodie says I'm to answer any questions you have." He smiled again as transferred Lysa to her care. "Not the way things are usually done, but I don't think I've ever heard of a new Chosen being picked up quite the way you were, either."

She hesitated again, settling Lysa on her hip and making sure Mila was still comfortable. "I'm Talia Larswife." She made a face. "Just Talia. This is Lysa, and the babe is Mila." Then she slipped out from between Companion and Herald to head into the Waystation.

Dirk took longer than necessary to tend to the Companions, taking the time to converse with Ahrodie. : _She's so young to be in the position she's in_ ,: he sighed, : _although I suppose this means she's got the experience needed to deal with the Brat. But with the way she chased us out of there, I feel like there's more going on than just her being an extremely young bride with two children. And that kick she gave us -_ _that's Empathy, right?_ :

: _Just starting to become active, yes,_ : Ahrodie said, taking his last question first. : _There's definitely more going on than just her age, but I still think that Rolan Chose well. She was handling that gaggle of children like an expert when we arrived._ : She paused. : _She might need some help. Be gentle with her._ :

With a sigh, Dirk headed into the Waystation; he couldn't help but smile when he saw Talia with Lysa nodding off beside her as she fed Mila with practiced discretion, using the baby's sling to make sure she was as covered as possible. He cleared his throat to make sure she had noticed him, and she quickly tugged at her sling to make sure that he couldn't see anything.

"I'll make dinner, and we can talk while it's cooking," he offered, going to do the task before she could object. Once he'd gotten started, he kept his attention apparently on the fireplace. "I suppose we should start with your questions, although I have to admit I have some of my own. So, Talia, what do you want to know?"

She was quiet for a moment, and Dirk took the opportunity to observe her while she thought he wasn't looking. She was small - so small that he could hardly believe she'd managed to bear two healthy children regardless of her age. She had wild brown curls that had been pinned within an inch of their life in an attempt to contain them. She had large brown eyes and a stubborn chin on a beautiful heart-shaped face -  _But she probably wouldn't appreciate me thinking her beautiful_.

Finally, she spoke. "Rolan said he Chose me."

"Yes."

"What does that mean?"

By the Hand of the Lady, they really were starting from scratch, weren't they? "Being Chosen is how Heralds become Heralds. The Companions Choose us. They see something in us that makes us uniquely fit to be Heralds. We go through some training first, but what Rolan Chose you  _for_ is to become a Herald."

He could feel her surprise; he was going to have to teach her the basics on the road so that things didn't spiral out of control once they hit Haven. "I thought that you were just - born into it."

"Havens no," Dirk said, his voice warm. "At least, not the way you mean. Either you have what it takes to be a Herald or you don't, it can't be taught, and some families produce more Heralds than others. Like the Ashkevrons - they've been turning out just about one Herald every generation since before the time of Herald-Mage Vanyel! But it's not like nobles or anything. Just people who have the makings to be Heralds."

"Oh." There was some rustling, and when Dirk peeked behind him Talia was putting down her sleeping baby.  _The little thing can't be more than a couple of months old. If we'd gotten there any sooner I'd be escorting a pregnant Trainee back to Haven._ "You said there's some sort of training?"

"At the Collegium, yes. They'll do some testing to see what classes you need and which ones you can skip. There's a lot a Herald has to know in order to do our job, after all." Dinner, such as it was, was nearly done and Dirk glanced back again to see Talia soothing Lysa who seemed a little upset by the change in her routine. It was quite the darling sight, for all that Dirk shied away from the notion of how  _young_ she was to have two children. "The Dean will be able to tell you more about classes specifically."

She was quiet again. She didn't really know what else to ask, although Talia was pretty sure that there was a lot more she needed to know. At the moment, however, she needed to know one thing. "Have there ever been other new Heralds come in with children?"

Dirk hesitated and then turned to face her, trying to be as tactful as possible. "I'm sure it's happened, but usually when someone who has children is Chosen, they leave them with the other parent. But the way that you rushed us out of there I assume there's a reason you brought your girls with you?"

Talia froze, inspecting his ever so plain face for any sign of danger. Then, slowly, she undid the buttons on her cuffs and at the neck of her tunic. Then she pulled the fabric at her neck open and pulled up her sleeves nearly to her elbows.

The Herald's eyes widened, and even as he tried to control his reaction he recoiled slightly from what she revealed. Bruises of varying ages littered her forearms and throat, and Dirk was willing to bet just about anything that she had more than she was showing. "Lord and Lady! No wonder you were so afraid!"

Her face was suspicious, and she quickly buttoned everything back up. "There are good men among the Holderfolk, but a girl has no choice in who she marries. I met Lar on our wedding day. While I've known worse men I don't want my littles raised under his rule.  _Especially_ not as the daughters of a runaway wife; they'll have no sort of future on the Holds."

Dirk took a moment to consider his response, looking from Talia to her two small children. "Is he like that with the children, too?"

Wordlessly, Talia nodded. "Mostly just the girl children; the boys are given much more freedom in their lives. Lar was furious that I birthed a second girl, so I hope he'll denounce me and disown the girls ... but he's possessive, so he might try to get us back."

"Don't worry about that; there's more than enough to get you a divorcement and custody of your daughters. Even if he does come after you, you'll have the entire Heraldic Circle up to the Queen herself rallying to defend you. The only issue I see is that Trainees are very busy, and you're in greys for three to five years on average. Then after that there's an eighteen-month internship out on Circut. I'm not sure how you'd be able to manage all of that  _and_ two babes. The simplest solution I can think of is fostering them until you're in full Whites; I know my family would love to take them in, and Gayla's family traditionally has a whole passel of fosterlings -"

"I am not sending my littles away!" Talia objected, scandalized.

Dirk held up his hands in surrender, then busied himself dishing out three bowls of the porridge he'd managed. Offering one to Lysa first, then Talia, he sat down a respectable distance from them with his own food. "All right, you don't want them fostered. I'm sure we'll think of something. At the very least I'd be willing to take them for you during classes and such, at least when I'm in Haven. I'm sure there are other Heralds who'd be just as willing to help out, and some of us  _do_ have experience with children. Hells, Teren had two children when he was Chosen, although he left them with his wife, and I'm not the only one around that comes from a big family. We'll find a way."

The offer to watch her daughters for her caused a strange stirring in Talia's chest, and she nodded slowly. "You seem to have a decent enough hand with littles, and Lysa rode all the way here with you without a fuss. I might be willing to take you up on your offer." She was still mistrustful, but who could blame her?

They were quiet for a little while - Talia trying to process everything, Dirk not wanting to overwhelm her - and dinner cleared away. Then Talia went out to tend to nature's call and came back inside to something she'd never seen the like of.

Dirk was seated on the floor by the side of the bedbox, long legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankle. He'd laid Lysa down next to the sleeping Mila and was singing softly to the toddler as he stroked her hair to usher her off to sleep. And his voice - as homely as his face was, his voice was beautiful, angelic even. She supposed she'd been ignoring it as he spoke, but there was no denying it when he sang. Sitting there like that, almost-ugly face carrying an expression of attentive affection, clearly relaxed, singing with a voice that struck chords inside her, and tending to her child with as much care as if she were his own -  _I think he might be the most beautiful man I've ever met_.

The thought was mildly unnerving, and she didn't mean it like  _that_. It had nothing to do with appearance - aesthetically pleasing men were the first to be suspect. No, she meant something deeper, and that thought had her wrapping her arms protectively around herself as she tried to ward off whatever this reaction was that she kept having to the Herald. She stayed very still until he finished and pushed himself up from the floor, both of her littles successfully put to sleep.

Quietly, so as not to wake them, Talia murmured, "You have a very - compelling - voice."

He smiled at her, honest and without malice. "My father's a Bard. Ma's a Healer. They've got a Steading up north, near Sorrows - and before you ask, I have five sisters and a baby brother. All three of my older sisters have husbands and babies of their own." Which was why he'd suggested her girls be sent to his family - they'd wouldn't be seen as a burden of any sort and loved right along with the rest of the children.

"What about your Father's other Wives? Does he have as many littles with them?"

The question was so guileless that Dirk didn't have a chance to try to keep his reaction from his face. He did try to keep his voice as soothing and non-judgemental as possible. "Holderfolk customs aren't like what you'll run into most places. Usually, a man has one wife, and the two of them choose to marry each other out of affection. If you divorce or your spouse dies, of course, you can remarry ... but generally, people only have one spouse at a time. My father doesn't have any other wives."

Huh. Talia worried her lower lip, pondering that. Would people expect her to have loved Lar? She shook her head, then turned her attention back to the homely Herald. "That's certainly different." He was tall, a good six and a half feet, while Talia (already a dainty figure) had been stunted somewhat by two pregnancies while she was still supposed to be growing. "Since we're stuck together while we're on the road, why don't you tell me a little about yourself? To start with, how old are you?"

Dirk laughed briefly but gently, pure humor in his face and those wondrous eyes. "Eighteen, not much older than you. I was Chosen at eleven. Honestly, I tried to tell Ahrodie I was too ugly to be a Herald and point her at one of my sisters instead." He made a comical face before continuing. "I spent five years at the Collegium, and it's not long ago that Kris and I got off our internship. We were a bit shorthanded, so we doubled up with a mentor; usually, it's one on one. What else about me might be interesting ..." He paused, actually thinking about what to say. "You've heard me sing, you know a bit about my family. Other than an interest in both song and poetry, I'm not terribly interesting." Actually, this was the most interest a woman had paid him in a while, although of course that would change - as it always did - once she met Kris. "Do you know what Gifts are?"

She nodded; she'd read about Herald's Magic, condemned as demon work on the Holds.

"Well, I MindSpeak too, but my main Gift is Fetching. That means I can take something from somewhere else and move it - usually to me. I'm one of the stronger Fetchers in the Circle, although I can do a better job with a FarSeer to help me get a 'fix' on whatever I'm after. FarSeers are exactly what it says on the label. Kris, that I went on my internship with, is both my best friend and a FarSeer who gives me a better fix than I've ever gotten from anyone else. So we work as a team most of the time. We were Chosen at about the same time, although he's a couple years older. You'll probably like him - most people do."

"I'm not most people," she said tersely, and Dirk held up jokingly defensive hands.

"All right, all right, I won't presume. Anyway, I don't know about what all your gifts might be, but I've got a good grasp on your primary. It's Empathy - like MindSpeech, but with emotions. I don't blame you for feeling all suspicious at me after what you've been through, but I should at least teach you the basics before we get to Haven so that you're not projecting how you're feeling at everyone."

"Basics?"

"Nothing about how to actually use your Gift - that's not anything like mine - but how to keep you inside you and everyone else out. Center, Ground, and Shield. It's actually quite simple. Do you have the energy for a lesson before bed?"

Talia hesitated, then nodded. She might as well get this over with, and she really should trust him. He was a Herald, after all. "Let's get started."

 


	3. Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new Chosen and her escort arrive at the capital.

Dirk had set the pace of their journey, conscious both of the fact that the two little ones would need more frequent stops and of the fact that Talia was out of practice ahorse. Once she'd had a very tidy seat, but she hadn't ridden since her marriage, no more than she had read or indulged in any of her unwomanly habits besides the bow. She'd only been allowed that because Lar found the skill useful for her to have.

Their stops were much like that first stop - Dirk giving her plenty of space while still helping to care for her littles, his taking care of the food for them so that she could feed Mila. After the first town they stopped at - someplace called Sweetsprings - there were changes of clothes in a style similar to Holderfolk for her and irresistibly bright outfits for her daughters and in addition not one but  _two_ shawls for Talia to cover up with, one in cornflower blue and the other in dove gray.

It was a long trip and every night they'd work on the basics until Talia was certain she could center, ground, and shield in her sleep.

When they finally arrived at the capital, Talia was completely overwhelmed - and not her only. The sights, sounds, and smells were a great deal for both Talia and Lysa (on Dirk's saddle again as he did a reasonable job trying to soothe the intractable toddler) and thankfully they only stopped once to let a vendor split an apple for Rolan and Ahrodie. Then they were passing through another gate, this one manned by a woman in midnight blue, and Dirk came down from his saddle with Lysa held close while the guard assisted Talia and Mila down from Rolan.

As the Companions were led off, Dirk turned his full attention back to Talia. "They'll want to see you. It might be best if I take the girls and meet you in your new room when you're done with everything that you need to do?"

Talia hesitated. She shouldn't trust him and at the same time, he wanted him to stay with her and keep her safe. Finally, she nodded and transferred Mila to his care. Her sling fit the tall Herald awkwardly, but it would suffice.

"I'll see you soon, Herald Dirk."

"I'll be waiting with your dearlings," he said before slipping off to report to the Queen before Talia saw her.

* * *

"You did Send that there were complications, but I didn't expect them to be this adorable," Selenay said, cooing gently at the children. The little girls, both with their mother's curly hair although Lysa's darker and Mila's golden, looked right at home on Dirk. It was enough to make the Queen wish she'd had a better head on her shoulder's when she'd chosen her own husband.

"It's more than that, Selenay," he said a little awkwardly; he still did sometimes stumble with the idea that outside the throne room she was just another Herald. "She's Holderfolk, from down on the Karsite border. The poor thing's sixteen and has been married three years. At the very least she's been beaten through her whole marriage, but I fear it's been worse than that - both in her marriage and probably before that. She also confirmed that her husband was abusive to his female offspring, which is why they're here instead of back at - Larsholding, I think it was. Gods, I want to protect her, not throw her into the mess left by Thalamir's death - she's been through so much already."

"Yet she  _was_ Chosen, so she hasn't been broken by everything she's been through. We'll do what we have to, Dirk - just as always. The Companions, and  _especially_ Rolan, know what they're doing."

"They do at that," Dirk sighed. "I have a request. It's one Ahrodie backs." He cleared his throat. "I'd like to be assigned to Haven as much as possible for the first while she's here. She trusts me. I don't know what I did to earn her trust, but there it is. What's more, she trusts me with her children. Honestly, at this point, I don't know if there's anyone else she'll be willing to leave her girls with. She refuses to have them fostered, so she'll need someone to watch them while she's at lessons and chores, and that's me right now, at least until I can convince her to accept other caretakers or some other system of care for them."

"They could go in the Royal Nursery."

"They might eventually, but I doubt she'll want them in with the Brat right at first - pardon, milady."

"No, you're right; but I'll still make the offer, so she knows she can go that route if she ever wishes to."

"Anything else?"

"Other than needing to house her little family? She's worried her husband will come for her and their daughters. I don't know what the man looks like, but if Lar or any messenger from him comes up from the border they should be kept away from them. Also, I promised her a divorcement and custody of her daughters - she's got the mental evidence, plus I can stand witness to the bruises she showed me after Rolan Chose her. It's all around a complicated situation."

"It certainly sounds like it," Selenay said, making mental lists of people who needed to be spoken to. "Go talk to Elcarth while I see her; give him the rundown of the situation and talk about housing her while I see her. Then I'll get everything else seen too once our meeting is over."

* * *

She'd proven her ability to handle a wild brat and had a talk with the Queen of all people about the current political mess and her predecessor's probable murder. Talia had a feeling she would have been given less information if she was younger, but she had the whole story or close enough to it now. Now Talia just had to settle in past the offers of the Royal Nursery for her littles (not with  _that_ child in there with apparent free reign over her nurses) and her own worries.

Now she was being shown to her room by a girl around her age named Sherrill from Lake Evendim, who had taken her around after the Dean had been called away to deal with someone named Skif. She had more information than she knew what to do with, and honestly, she just wanted her girls so she could make an attempt at processing everything she'd been told. It was just too much!

Afraid to emote and trained in the basics of keeping her own emotions in her head, though, she appeared as calm as a duck paddling furiously below the water.

"Now, this is your room," Sherrill said, opening a door. Sliding a card with Talia's name into the holder, she corrected, "Well  _rooms_ \- usually you'd be in a single room in the Collegium wing, but they decided you needed more space since you're keeping your girls with you. So you get a two bedroom suite -" she broke off, realizing that Talia's attention had been caught by something else ... specifically, the tall, towheaded man rocking her baby and humming to her while he watched her toddler play on the floor.

There was something about the scene, about Talia approaching her children and stopping a few feet away with her eyes transfixed by the Herald caring for her children. It kind of made Sherrill want to stop breathing for a little, just to keep from breaking whatever half-formed mood was there -  _especially_ when Dirk looked up at Talia and smiled, offering her the infant.

The dinner bell broke the spell.

"Thank you for your help, Herald Dirk," she said gently, settling Mila into her arms. "I can take it from here."

"All right, Talia. I'll be around if you need more help with them."

She hesitated, then nodded, taking her children down to dinner.


End file.
